Ordering this: http://www.ebay.com/itm/381237466793
and 30 days later when it arrives from China and I’ve lost interest in the Particle Electron because it failed me so miserably, I will probably stuff it into a drawer. 
But just in case I decide to actually try JTAG flashing these things I’ll leave this link here for my own reference. Connections for ST-Link v2 mini JTAG